I have written in my personal journal the following entry from Nov 1 2011:
Today I have decided to stake the ground in proclaimation that I fully embrace my calling of "mother." I will not try to push it away, smother it, reprove it, deny it, or be caught up in something else - trying to continue to "keep my own sanity" - NO! Sanity comes from Jesus Christ within the calling and assignment He gives! (Romans 12:2) These is so much to gain in my relationship with Christ, united with Him...there is nothing I have "given up" or "lost" because His promise to me is very clear...."When you delight yourself in me, Jeanne, I will give you the desires of your heart"...God has truly done this in my heart. He has turned my selfish desires and given me the desires to love, cherish, train, and to play with my children. He has transformed my mind and given me His way of disciplining our children day by day, by the leading of His Spirit, and by His truth - His Word. There is so much treasure to gain from this season in my life and I want to absorb and eat my portion - I do not want to walk away from it or or refuse it! I want all of what Jesus has for me!
This proclaimation came from my experience hearing others casually and unfortunately, frequently chat about activities/events/projects that help them to "keep their sanity" while barely surviving at being a "stay-at-home mom." Over the past year I continued an on-going conversation concerning this "sanity" issue with the Holy Spirit. Quite honestly there were times when I blurted out in my own home...with my own kids..."You are making me lose my mind!" I remember very vividly God gently couseling me, "Jeanne, a sound mind comes from staying connected to me, if you delight yourself in me...I will give you the desires of your heart!" Let's just say this conclusion and revelation did not come all in one day...not even over a couple of days or weeks...it came as a gradual filling from the Holy Spirit over the course of many lost days on the battlefield. However, the more I tuned in to Him, the more I received. The more renewing from His Word, the more encouragement and strength came to me during my days...the more clarity in the renewing of my mind...the better my days started to look. The assignment of Motherhood started to turn from gloomy, dark, and cloudy, to clear, bright and sunny. The Holy Spirit started to encourage me to put my selfish desires away (i.e. sewing projects, art projects, facebook, email, etc. etc. etc.), to listen and to play with my children more...and to be LESS frustrated by my children and to start enjoying them. I experienced the death of a couple people in my life over the last year...and recently a mother who lost one of her sons. God has used these people's experiences to help me "number my days." It's helped me to realize the people in our lives, whom we love, are deeply important. And He has used the death of these people to bring life to me and my family in a whole new way. It's been like the cherry on top to His teaching to me...if that makes any kind of sense...to you :) I'm so glad you took a moment to listen to my heart. I don't always blog about my personal writings from my journal, but I felt moved to write about this one.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV).
Today I have decided to stake the ground in proclaimation that I fully embrace my calling of "mother." I will not try to push it away, smother it, reprove it, deny it, or be caught up in something else - trying to continue to "keep my own sanity" - NO! Sanity comes from Jesus Christ within the calling and assignment He gives! (Romans 12:2) These is so much to gain in my relationship with Christ, united with Him...there is nothing I have "given up" or "lost" because His promise to me is very clear...."When you delight yourself in me, Jeanne, I will give you the desires of your heart"...God has truly done this in my heart. He has turned my selfish desires and given me the desires to love, cherish, train, and to play with my children. He has transformed my mind and given me His way of disciplining our children day by day, by the leading of His Spirit, and by His truth - His Word. There is so much treasure to gain from this season in my life and I want to absorb and eat my portion - I do not want to walk away from it or or refuse it! I want all of what Jesus has for me!
This proclaimation came from my experience hearing others casually and unfortunately, frequently chat about activities/events/projects that help them to "keep their sanity" while barely surviving at being a "stay-at-home mom." Over the past year I continued an on-going conversation concerning this "sanity" issue with the Holy Spirit. Quite honestly there were times when I blurted out in my own home...with my own kids..."You are making me lose my mind!" I remember very vividly God gently couseling me, "Jeanne, a sound mind comes from staying connected to me, if you delight yourself in me...I will give you the desires of your heart!" Let's just say this conclusion and revelation did not come all in one day...not even over a couple of days or weeks...it came as a gradual filling from the Holy Spirit over the course of many lost days on the battlefield. However, the more I tuned in to Him, the more I received. The more renewing from His Word, the more encouragement and strength came to me during my days...the more clarity in the renewing of my mind...the better my days started to look. The assignment of Motherhood started to turn from gloomy, dark, and cloudy, to clear, bright and sunny. The Holy Spirit started to encourage me to put my selfish desires away (i.e. sewing projects, art projects, facebook, email, etc. etc. etc.), to listen and to play with my children more...and to be LESS frustrated by my children and to start enjoying them. I experienced the death of a couple people in my life over the last year...and recently a mother who lost one of her sons. God has used these people's experiences to help me "number my days." It's helped me to realize the people in our lives, whom we love, are deeply important. And He has used the death of these people to bring life to me and my family in a whole new way. It's been like the cherry on top to His teaching to me...if that makes any kind of sense...to you :) I'm so glad you took a moment to listen to my heart. I don't always blog about my personal writings from my journal, but I felt moved to write about this one.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV).
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